Recently, I was informed that I lack positive messages in my posts here. Of course, anyone who does a little investigation here, will find plenty of poetry and prose of a positive nature. However, due to recent events(read previous article) I have to decided to share the wisdom of old age with a few of the younger folks.
But you might be thinking, what makes me such an expert on this subject matter. I don’t have a degree in any mental disorders, nor in anything even remotely related. However, if there is another person who has pulled themselves from the brink of suicide more times than I, show me.
I had a rough childhood by any standards, I spent time in jail and even lived on the streets for awhile. I know what darkness looks like. We have been friends for a very long time. I doubt you will find a more qualified individual to speak on this matter. Not sure? Give life a chance and read. Set down that gun, that knife, that rope…whatever you were thinking of using and give yourself not just a chance at life. Give yourself a chance at a better life! Here are some truths I have discovered in my 52 yrs. of fighting the idea of suicide:
1. Remove negative people from your life.
There are many people in this world who know, no other way of making themselves feel big, important, or better than others, than to belittle, insult, or degrade others. They cannot help that they are this way. They have some whacked-out belief that they must be better than other people. So they do whatever it takes to make them feel that way. If you begin to see them for what they really are, it becomes easy to make the decision to remove them from your life. No, I am not talking about using that gun, knife, or rope, etc. I am speaking of banning, blocking, putting up a no trespassing sign, and getting a court order, if needed. No, I am also not speaking about a person who is mostly positive. I am speaking of the people who are consistently negative. They must be removed because they will never do you any good, mentally, emotionally, or otherwise.
2. Realize that things change daily.
If things can change in a New York minute, how much do you think they can change in a day? A week? A month? A Year? You see the world is constantly changing. It has been since the dawn of the universe and will be long after we tiny specks are gone. Tomorrow that person who was taunting you might have a change of heart. Tomorrow that job you thought you did not get, may call you back for another interview. Tomorrow that mountain of debt may be resolved, by an inheritance you never expected. Humans have a tendency to only see what is right before their eyes. We often can’t see beyond the moment. Just think what tomorrow could bring. Everything may not change, but there will be differences, and small differences over time add up…to huge changes. A valley is not created overnight and neither is a life.
3. Everyone is different, everyone is a singularity.
Here is small secret that most people do not get. Nobody owns the rights to cool, hip, happening, fresh, or whatever term you want to use. Each of us, while having the same basic needs, is an entirely different person. No other person defines you or will ever really know you. You are different, you are unique, and so is everyone else. The only difference between you and the people who might be tormenting you, is they are better at ACTING like everyone else. This does not make them better than you. It actually makes you superior to them. You are not afraid of being yourself, they are. Take strength in this knowledge. Listen to yourself. Nobody else knows what is right for you. You are an individual, so now think like one.
4. You control how you react to situations.
There is this old oriental saying “You cannot control without, you can only control within.” What that means in simple terms is that you cannot control anything outside of yourself. You can only control yourself. The more you try to control others and the world around you, the more frustration you will find. Accept this knowledge for it is, it will give you strength. When you see that you are in control of yourself, you have conquered the greatest enemy and made yourself, your greatest ally. This means you control how you react to every situation. It means you control what you send out into the world. Those ripples of what you send out do come back. It is a universal law that, what comes around goes around. If someone treats you badly and you chose not to give them the reaction they expect. They will be the one with frustration. Don’t choose to give into that temptation of suicide and things will take an unexpected turn.
5. Realize there is a plan.
If you begin paying attention to the little things, you will start to see a pattern emerge. Life is surprising, but only if you live long enough and pay enough attention to notice the coincidences that happen daily. When you begin to notice these things, you will see there is a bigger picture, a larger plan: something is guiding it all. Life has a plan and a meaning, don’t you want to stay around long enough to find out what it is? Once you end it, you will never know.
6. Think about those you leave behind.
You may not realize it in the moment, but someone out there actually does care if you live or die. They might be a mother, father, brother, sister, spouse, or friend. They could even be someone on the internet, who’s life you changed or affected, with your words. The thing is, whether you realize it or not, there is someone who will be left behind to deal with all sorts of feelings that arise, when someone you know commits suicide. Do you really want to do that to them? Do they deserve it, when all they did was care for you? Suicide is the most selfish act you can do. Just consider for a second, that life is not all about you and your pain. Life is about all of us. We all suffer. We all have pain. We all have broken dreams and lives we did not plan on.
In conclusion, life is the biggest mystery you may never solve, but it is worth trying. Life is always changing and full of surprises. Hidden amongst those changes is a plan, a design, waiting for you to discover it and find the answer of who you are, and what your purpose is. Life is worth living, just one more day, to see where it will take you next.
Now, go put away that suicide tool and find out what life is really about. I think you will like the answer…if you give it the chance to show you.