It seems the days of creativity are soon to come to a close. As the reality of our impending bankruptcy begins to gain a foothold and the impending homeless becomes a reality, I find I little options in saving any tiny likelihood of being able to create.
I really should have seen this coming and if I were not trying to be positive, perhaps I would have figured out this ending sooner. So much for positive thinking!
When my oldest son abandoned us; perferring the company of a liar who “hated me from the moment she met me”. I should have seen that things were going downhill.
When my wife got fired for no cause, I should of seen it coming. When she lost job after job afterward, I should have seen it.
When she got herself fired from her last job doing completely dumb shit and then lied about it, I should have really known it then.
When my second son decided to jump on the I hate my parents bandwagon, I really should have known.
When I watch the way that social media has turned into a game of numbers instead of a way to meet people, it was clear, but yet I chose to still believe there was hope.
Now I know I will never see my kids or grandchildren. Now I know that no matter what I create, nobody is ever going to care. Now I know that my own wife cannot be trusted and that nobody is ever going to hire her, because she is either too old or does not have enough experience. Now that I know all these these things, the whole outcome seems very apparent.
I won’t have the time or ability to post much longer. I won’t have any reasons to want to. I am not sure I will even have a reason to live. You see this whole situation is one of those, been there, done that, type of thing. I have been homeless already. I have been poor most of my life.I have been lonely or alone or both for most of my life. None of it I ever cared for and certainly did not do anything deliberately to end up in this position. Unless, you think that giving a crap about others makes you a target for this kind of result.
Without creativity there is no hope. Without hope there is no reason. Without reason there is no life. I would rather die than live on the streets again.
I have posted this flower as a reminder to look for the beauty in life. It may help you keep your sanity. But know this, even beauty cannot help you, when the world is taking it away from you every day. Hold onto it as long as you can.
So I pass this beauty onto others, as it seems it has gone from my life. Sorry, for wasting your time with this drivel. I only thought some of you might want to know why I have quit posting. One should only post if it serves a purpose and that purpose is no longer valid for me.
I was never a welcome addition to this world and it won’t really miss another bankrupt and homeless artist.