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I have no daily routine. My life is chaotic and frankly, most days I am happy with that. It helps separate the days and keeps my mental agility on par. However, sometimes things swirl up, out of that chaos, that are not as positive as one would hope for. While this may be good, in the way it teaches you new things, it still is a bit of a bumpy ride.

During one of these random days, I spent a little too much time looking back on the past. Now I am old enough to realize that a little is ok but delving too much in the past is never a could idea. The past should be left where it belongs for the most part, with only the lessons learned moving forward with you.

However, on my small journey into the past I came across a few friends of old and decided, with nothing more than whim on my side, to send them friend requests. I can see now that this was a mistake. Can you?

I refuse to get stuck on the most common sayings about the past such as ” The past should be left where it belongs”. Or “the past is the past’  or even my own personal statement on the past “The past does not define us…it only trains us..” None of the most common sayings about the past, really puts into the mind exactly, what is wrong with revisiting the past. We learn with wisdom and experience that going back to the past is never a good idea.

This holds true, no matter which sense of the past, we are going back to. Whether it be people or places. The past for us is always someone else’s present. Thus like all living things, is in constant and irrevocable flux. Everything changes and thus you can never really go back to the past. You can only go back to a past altered by time.

Knowing all this, I still pushed those damn friendship buttons because somewhere deep down in my mind, I could not escape a simple thought. A very simple idea and those are the worst, because they just stick to the inside of your mind, like peanut butter to the roof of your mouth. The idea is simple, if I send these old friends, friend requests, and they do not accept the friend requests, then they were probably never really my friend to begin with.

Now I most definitely realize the absurdity of such a thought. Not only does it do a disservice to the past, it does a disservice to those people. There could be a million different reasons why they might not accept my friend request. From things as simple as not having time for another friendship to still holding onto some secret notion that you maligned them. The fact is, it almost always impossible to know what is going on inside someone else’s mind. So we won’t even pretend that we do.

What needs to be realized from this little journey into the past, is that no matter what happens in the present, the past is unchangeable. Thus trying to put present conditions on the past will only lead to a complete lack of understanding of either.

I realize that I probably should not have bothered pressing those friend request buttons, but since I have done so, I now must deal with whatever comes from it and do so in a way that does not detract from it. I can only hope that my chaotic decision does not harm their recollections. That my decision to offer friendship is seen for what it is and was meant to be…an opportunity for each of us to look at where we came from and where we are now. A chance to see if our lives could once more interweave and compliment each other’s.

When the past meets the present there always the greater chance of failure but there is almost always the small chance of rediscovery and expansion. Let’s hope this time, it is the latter which occurs.

JB

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